


Winter

by scarslikeconstxllations



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is cold, Adrien is destruction, Adrien is distant, Adrien is like winter, Adrien mourns, Dark, F/M, I hate tagging, I was on drugs, Poor Adrien, WHY DID I WRITE THIS AGAIN, Was I on drugs, What Was I Thinking, Winter, Winter is treated like a person, adrien is angsty, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarslikeconstxllations/pseuds/scarslikeconstxllations
Summary: Winter is a particularly dark season, one of death and destruction. He struggles with his inner identity and the dark thoughts coursing through his mind, wondering why he was given such a torturous gift.





	Winter

**Author's Note:**

> A.n. So this was written for a challenge entry on Miraculous Amino. We were given a season: winter. I decided to personify winter a bit and make Adrien grapple with it as an identity since he was given the power of destruction. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> To clarify, I was(n't) on drugs when I wrote this.

_Winter is a special season._

The snow falls in fluffy white puffs, each beautiful snowflake crafted to perfection from the ones in the sky. Each snowflake is different, until it falls to the Earth into the piles of snow, becoming one with its brothers and sisters.

_Winter is a special season._

Frost covers each blade of grass, each roof of a house, and the long stretches of road. It lays over them like a cold blanket, sucking the warmth from each individual thing. Breath takes on the colour of stark white in the frosty air. Like billows of smoke, it dances in the wind before curling up towards the sky, vanishing from sight.

_Winter is a special season._

Unlike its sisters, spring and summer, it doesn’t bring growth and light. It doesn’t allow the birth of new life, the creation of delicate beings. No, it is alike its partner, autumn. Autumn is the first stage of the death of living things. Leaves shrivel up and lose their green color, giving off radiants of red, orange, and yellow before the everlasting brown. They fall to the ground and lay there to decay or to be carried away by the wind. Some drift along lakes and stream beds, carried on into oblivion where they will each meet their end.

Winter, however, is the epitome of Death.

Whilst its sisters are creating new life in their wake, Winter is bringing Death and destruction. It kills the plants, trees, and undergrowth. It slaughters any mammals left away from their homes. Even the wolves are more cautious in winter, their long coats the only thing keeping them from freezing to death.

Winter brought Death and destruction wherever it went. It trapped people inside and outside their houses. It killed crops of food, it injured thousands by the evil of blizzards and black ice.

_Winter was a deadly season._

Perhaps that’s why Adrien found himself identifying with it the most.

Here he lay, in the glowing white snow, underneath a pine tree. The branches were coated with the white powdery flakes, the green standing out against the paleness. Snowflakes fell all around him, creating a halo in his splayed blonde hair.

Crimson blood from his hands stained the white ground. It drizzled down his wrists, splashing from his fingertips until it sank into the Earth, creating bloody red patterns in the snow. His breath came out in white puffs, snowflakes landing delicately on his lips before being evaporated from the slight heat.

You see, Adrien had discovered something about himself. It was something that no one dared to understand, that no one could understand even if they tried. Adrien was the prime example of winter in a human being.

He was Death.

He was destruction.

He had an icy heart.

He was always meant to destroy. He was never meant to create, to love, or to grow. He was always the one who destroyed, who took something wonderful and crushed it beneath his small hands.

_He was tired._

He was tired of living, tired of this world. He was tired of having to destroy everything he touched. His family, his friends, his love. Everything always soiled under his grip, turning to black soot and ash before his very eyes.

_He was tired._

He was tired of the pressure, tired of the pain. He was tired of always having to please others, at the expense of his own happiness.

_He was tired of trying._

There was a spark at one point, that became a flame. It was love, more or less, in the shape of a beautiful woman. His lover of the night, with raven hair and bluebell eyes.

Adrien knew everything about those eyes.

He knew that though they held a certain fire to them, they tended to display every raw emotion that she was feeling. They became blue flames, hot and scorching. They could sink into the depths of your soul, penetrating your heart and stealing the breath from your lungs.

He knew her smile.

It was like the moon. It was hidden and secretive, only coming out to play when the world was in need of some light in the midst of darkness. He cherished that smile for as long as he could remember.

He knew her, inside and out. He knew her laugh, for it was like tingling bells. He knew her pixie-like sneeze, her kitten-like yawn. He knew the way she lit up like the sun when she was excited.

Once, he told her that he would do anything for her.

_"Would you climb a ladder that reached the night sky, and pluck me a star?"_

Adrien had answered without hesitation. He wouldn’t just get her one star, he’d get her all the stars. In response, she had told him, with a bit of fear in her voice, that there would be nothing to light the sky when the moon was absent.

Adrien had replied that her smile was enough to battle even the darkest of nights.

Adrien knew her, inside and out. He would do anything for her, anything to keep her by his side forever.

But he also knew that she was afraid.

It started as small gestures that made his heart sink. The turn of a head to avoid his lips, the slightest flinch at his touch. The dark shade of fear replacing the sparkle that once dazzled her eye. It took him only a short while to figure it out, but he still believed that it was too long.

He should have known, he should have realized. No one would love him, no one ever could. There was always an underlying fear that remained hidden deep within their bones. A fear of destruction, a fear of darkness, a fear of him.

_All who had ever loved him were afraid._

They were pretending to care, every single one of them. They were lying to themselves, putting on a golden mask so cunning and ingenious that even the master of masks, Adrien himself, was fooled.

He should have realized it sooner. Maybe then he could have avoided the torture, he could have avoided the pain.

Each emotion felt raw and heavy in his chest. As he lay in the snow, he couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh of irony. Here he was, destruction in human form, in the season that was known for devastation.

_It was irony in its purest form._

Everything he touched turned to ash. Everyone he loved left him, left him with emotional damage and the baggage that their lies had brought.

Everyone and everything he cared about was gone, had blown away in the wind so completely that it was as if they were never there to begin with.

He was alone, he and the Winter sky.

Adrien identified with Winter because he felt like Winter himself. Cold, lonely, destruction in human form. It was destiny, that he and Winter should be left alone together.

Once, he had felt free. He had been lifted like a bird from its cage, finally being released into the air after centuries without flight.

But a bird who has been caged for so long often forgets how to fly. Those around him took advantage of this confusion.

Like leeches, they latched onto it. They sucked on whatever light was left in his weary soul, turning his heart blacker and blacker by each passing day.

They soiled his remaining innocence, turning his soul dark and cold. Whatever light had existed was long gone. His heart frosted over like the ground during the first snow.

_Adrien was Winter. He was Winter down to the very depth of his soul._

But unlike our Winter, which has an end, Adrien’s internal Winter lasted forever. He was destined to be alone, destined to destroy. He was never meant to be someone’s hero, or even to be his own.

Winter didn’t last forever, its reign was ended by the spring. Spring was meant to reverse whatever destruction Winter had brought, replacing it with its growth and new life.

Adrien’s Winter was irreversible.

He was meant to always and forever be alone, alone with his thoughts and his screaming demons.

Flashes of her, flashes of his one and only spark, haunted him in his dreams. Her wild raging fire attempted to consume his thoughts and to bring warmth back to his heart. But his eternal Winter was never meant to see light. The spark expired, smothered and murdered by the dark shadows within his mind.

And so he lay, on the frozen piles of snow, with the blood of destruction staining his hands. He had tried to shed the darkness like one sheds a coat. He tried to peel it off, to escape his skin. He felt like a victim trapped inside a monster’s belly, crying for freedom and warmth. He had clawed at his skin, shredded his layers with his sharpened claws, trying to free himself. The pain reminded him that he was human. He was a human-built from Death, but he was human nonetheless. Each drop of crimson blood onto the white Earth reminded him that he was alive.

The ice that spiked his heart grew. It was growing by each passing day. It was ice that could not be melted by heat or warmth.

Once, it could be melted by love. But there, in the deepest part of the Winter Woods, Adrien realized that whatever love could have melted the ice in his heart was long gone.

She was his spark.

She was his flame.

She was his raging fire.

She was a burning engraving on his heart, a scorching mark that could never be removed.

As his eternal Winter continued on, the ice in his heart-covered her mark. He was left alone, Winter against Winter. One brought temporary struggle and cold, the other brought an everlasting blizzard of Death.

_Winter is a special season, the epitome of Death, the darkest time of the Earth._

And so Adrien remained there, trapped in an external Winter while trying to battle the internal Winter growing within his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> A.n. So there it is. :) Please leave kudos if you liked this! I mainly write one-shots but I do have a series up called, "The Cure" if you're interested. It's an apocalyptic au of sorts, with lots of angst. I'd appreciate you checking it out. 
> 
> But anyways, as always, thank you for reading.


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